Why I write!
Please note that these are my views, and my views only.
I write because, in a way, it means I am heard. There’s permanency in the written word that is not there with the spoken word. Once it’s “on paper” it’s there for as long as that medium is around. Writing is the one, truly selfish, vice I have, it’s all mine, I don’t have to really share the process with anyone else and I can write about anything I want. I’m by no means an expert in many of the things I write blogs about, but I am passionate about them, and I think that helps with the authenticity in my writing. Those who know me often say that I write like I talk (not sure if that’s a compliment or they’re taking the piss, either way I know it’s me and that’s important to me).
As a quick aside, I love that this Word program tells me that piss might be offensive to my readers – Really? Well FUCK that I say! I’m not writing to “make friends” or “make millions”, I’m writing because it’s cathartic to me, It’s almost like therapy (just much less expensive than my actual therapist – sorry Emily, you’re worth every dollar!). We live in such a “protected world” these days – irony of that statement is not lost on me given the current political state our Ukrainian friends are facing (completely unimaginable) – But what I mean, is everyone is so offended by anything and everything today – I think people are proactively looking for things to take offense too. There’s no such as “thick skinned” anymore, we are literally living in a society that encourages people to be pissed off at something (or everything) for a myriad of reasons. Why can’t I say Asian babies are the cutest and that I could steal them. Why do people take this (me), a fat white woman, the wrong way or accuse me of being racist when all I ACTUALLY mean is that I (genuinely) think Asian babies are divine – nothing more in that statement is intended. But FUCK me dead, people just love to be shocked at everything these days.
There’s a cause for everything in today’s world, there’s friggin awareness days for every possible affliction we might suffer from. Don’t misunderstand me, before you start sending me hate messages, awareness for public health issues is important BUT seriously! How many do we need to have before it’s starting to become disingenuous to that particular disease or illness, I think.
I want to distinguish here between writers and those that are anonymous “keyboard warriors (or wankers if I’m honest). When I had my stroke last year (from a vaccine), and I was clear that I was still wanted to be fully vaccinated I received countless messages from people I don’t know, and never would have even cross paths with them, that I deserved/ should’ve to die and that my girls would be better off with me dead as their mother because people didn’t agree with my decision to get vaccinated. I fully understand (and respect) that not everyone has the same opinions or perspectives but if you don’t like or agree with something you see/read on social media – WHY THE FUCK can’t people just ignore it and scroll on – LIKE SERIOUSLY WHY? Online bullying is really confronting, I had a few people that were relentless with me and said things to me that I’m certain they would never to say to mine (or any other person’s) face, why does the anonymity of social media make it “ok” to be such an arsehole. If I have trolls reading this (or any of my blogs), fuck off and scroll on – you are not welcome here!
I swear a lot, I know, and I know that’s not for everyone and that’s ok, I’m cool with that. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, so to speak. But I am true to myself and try my best to be well-informed about topics I get into but sometimes (those who know me are probably thinking often lol) I fail miserably at that and offend people unintentionally. I don’t have a huge circle of friends and prefer quality over quantity with friends, especially as I get older. The more years that pass the less fucks I have to give, I think most people can relate to this!
But let’s get back to why I write and get off my keyboard warrior soap box (they really shit me if I wasn’t clear on that).
Writing, for me, is like a run is to many people. It’s my release valve, a way I can get off my chest the things that are burdening me or taking my focus off what I need to be doing, like feeding my offspring à Just so I can throw it all in the bin anyway – Feeding Kids is the worst. FMD I hate it. Read more about why I hate feeding my kids here.
Writing, like all forms of art and self-expression, is a way to be seen, be heard and be understood. It’s the permission, even the conduit, to say whatever is in my (pretty screwy) head and just let it be what it is – good, bad, inspiring, rubbish – or a combination of them all! It’s me time, which as parents is a VERY rare luxury and I know I’m very fortunate to be able to have some time to dedicate to it, as my stroke has sadly prevented me from returning to the work I love(d).
I’m not expecting my writing to ever win any awards, or even make me money, that’s not why I do it. Never has been and never will be. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I’m not formally training or attended any form of writing course/ class. I just love it and it’s good for me, so like a good red and good conversation, I’m going to stick with it, I think.
I truly believe we are shaped entirely by how we experience this world. There are things in my past that have defined who I am today. A deadbeat dad, my daughter dying the day she was born, suffering a serious stroke (from trying to do what I thought was the right thing). There are others, but these are BIG ONES for me. Have you ever thought about what yours are or how they’ve shaped or affected who you are today?
I often think what it will be like to look back on my life lived and wonder if I’ll have regrets, I hope not (or at least not really big ones). My gorgeous Nan is almost 99 and she’s such an inspiration to those who are lucky enough to know her – and not just those of us related to her, she’s a Nan to everyone of my close friends and extended family. She’s much loved and adored and will leave a legacy that will last many lifetimes! My girls are probably old enough now that they will have a memory of their Great Grandmother, and there’s not many of us who are able to say that. At almost 99, she stills lives in her 2 storey, 4 bedroom house on her own and is pretty independent, which is bloody cool I think. I can only hope to have had such the impact on other’s lives that she had.
So to wrap up my rambling, I think the reason behind writing this blog (and I often have no idea what that is until I’ve written it) is to share with people that it’s ok to do you and not appeal to everyone all the time. That being authentically you is ok too, and try not to apologise for too many things (especially if you’re sorry lol) – A whole blog on that later.
If you’ve read this far, thank you and, as always, leave a comment if you want to share something too.
Love you just the way you arexx